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Are you an Over Giver?

In this world, there are two types of people; givers and takers.  Next time you are in a group of people notice how people act. You will find out that they tend to fall only into one category or the other.
Givers are the people who are willing to help others. Takers are the ones that are always looking for something free, or what’s in it for them.
Some of the best examples of these people are the nurses and teachers. They are not concerned whether they will receive anything in return or not, as long as they find happiness in helping others.

In work, an over giver often goes the extra mile because they just don’t do the job, but they work hard just to make sure they do the job completely and thoroughly. They make certain that the quality of their job is there and they are not looking for the recognition. They do it because they want to.

In addition, they give willingly when they aren’t asked to give. Like as the saying goes, “it is better to give than to receive”. But when is it too much? You don’t just see situations like this in the work environment, there are many areas in an over givers life that being too generous comes into play.

An over giver often find themselves in this situation often when they have families.  They are tending to the children, to their spouses, to their homes and then what happens, there is nothing left for them. It is true that women are natural nurturers, but when the time comes that you habitually sacrifice your own needs for the sake of others, you become physically, emotionally, as well as spiritually consumed, what do you do?

Over givers want to make everyone happy all the time.  They cannot handle the fact that they are not doing something or giving something to someone else.  They want to give, give and give some more and they keep forgetting the most important part.

However, there will come a time that people will go overboard and start realizing, do you give too much? Some people just are just natural pleasers but there comes a time that enough is enough. It is so deeply instilled in some, that often times they don’t know that they are doing it.  So how do you recognize that you are over giving?

Here are some signs of over giving:

•    You do not think about yourself and the things you need first. You are usually more concerned on the needs of other people when it comes to making choices.
•    You feel tired and exhausted because you do not have the time or energy to enjoy the things for yourself.
•    You don’t prioritize the important events or personal matters.
•    You are not receiving anything in return.  You are not fueling your personal fire. The nurturing or pampering that you mostly need.
•    You often feel guilty whenever you say no. You are afraid that you will be rejected or criticized for setting up boundaries for the things that you will do and will not do.
•    You find yourself going “without” just so the others have what they need.  This could be in the form of time, material things or emotional support.

If you start to realize that you have these signs in you, it is time for you to stop thinking of others before thinking of yourself.  It’s time to make time for you and give back to yourself. It’s an amazing gift to go through life without being selfish and it’s great to give, but you should set a limit.

Remember, the most important person in your life is you. You must take care of you so you are able to be there for the family, for your friends and for whoever needs support.

Being giving and generous is an amazing trait, but there comes a time that you need to stop and realize that it’s ok just doing the best that you can.

Live, Love and Laugh.

 

One Comment

  1. Reminds me a great saying “Saying YES to someone else could mean saying NO to yourself”.

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