Bullying and Your Personal Power

Being a coach, I have become more aware of people who forgo their personal power to avoid confrontation, search for peace, and have acceptance.

These situations come at a great expense to your personal being. You become quiet, lose your self esteem, become confused, often depressed and find that you not longer know who you are.
I have been involved in such situations and have now found my personal power and believe and trust my own personal judgment. My “gut” feeling.
Starting out as a coach in support for single parents and stay at home moms, I often saw such circumstances arise. Many had no self esteem, had no drive left, they were so committed to their family that they lost themselves. And then were put in a situation where they are told that it’s their JOB and that they have not amounted to anything because they don’t have a real job outside the home. All they do is take care of the kids. This is part of my own story.

That exchange of words was quite unsettling for me. I thought of myself as a powerful, intelligent and superb mother and wife. Instead of me standing in my power, I let myself be demeaned over and over again. I wanted stability, I didn’t want any sort of confrontation. I just wanted it all to go away. What happens with this type of scenario is that it strengthens the “bully” and sends the person on the receiving end into more of a downward spiral. This encounter led me to dive deeper into the curious cave of personal power and trust.

Bullying comes is presented in many different ways in life. Amazingly enough, children who bully throughout their younger years feel the need to continue throughout their adulthood. This is the reflection upon many abusive marriages and relationships. The need for control and self preservation is so high they do not care who it affects in their lives. Sadly, this has become such an issue in our society that we have Special days to Stop the abuse.

With reflection from those past moments, I wanted to work and empower women, single, married, stay at home or out in the work force. For may of us carry these burdens from one environment to the next. Owning your power is an integral part of personal happiness, fulfilling connections and achieving your potential. You give your power away when you make someone outside of you more important than what you hold inside of you.
Noticing this not only in your home environment but also in the work place is essential for the staff, the coworkers and the facility in general.
Working in the health care industry, the people that these negatives surroundings affects the most are the patients. What I saw was a conflict with the employees that was not at all what one would expect. They are all here to tend to their patients with love and caring and yet, they have difficulty even talking to their co-workers?
So keeping with your personal power, your essence, you become stronger, more confident and your self esteem will sky rocket. This is a process and it’s a transition that will begin when you say “ I LOVE MYSELF”, and believe it.

These are ways how you give your personal power away :

–Searching for validation by over powering
–Wanting approval for every action
–Losing faith in yourself Forget that you know what you’re doing, and you are good at it.
–Any boundaries are lost
–Any self doubt
–Be intimidated by loud, obnoxious people
–Be a victim of emotional assaults
–Go against your personal beliefs
–Attempting to please everyone around you


But you can keep your personal power when you:

–Believe in yourself and trust your inner feelings.
–Ask for what you need and want.
–Believe the fact that you have earned the respect from others
–Be non judgmental. Do onto others as you would like done to you
–Spend time with like minded people
–Never stop being the loving and caring person you know yourself to be
–Learn to say “No” and mean it, no matter what the outcome

Owning your power means speaking your truth, honoring your sensitivity, and believing in yourself. Your life experience, education, personal relationships, and curiosity make you wise.  Always believe in yourself and if need be, tell the bullies to shove off!

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” Buddha

Nicole Gruendl
Life Success Coach
E: Nicole@NicoleGruendl.com
W: www.NicoleGruendl.com

8 Tips for Mental Health & Fitness

1. Build Confidence

Identify your abilities and weaknesses together, accept them improve on them and never lose sight of your goals, you can succeed.

2. Eat right, Keep fit

A balanced diet, exercise and rest can help you to reduce stress and enjoy life.

3. Make Time for Family and Friends

These relationships need to be nurtured; if taken for granted they will not be there to share life’s joys and sorrows.

4. Give and Accept Support

Friends and family relationships thrive when they are “put to the test”.

5. Create a Meaningful Budget

Financial problems cause stress. Over-spending on our “wants” instead of our “needs” is often the culprit.

6. Manage Stress

We all have stress ors in our lives but learning how to deal with them when they threaten to overwhelm us will maintain our mental health.

7. Find Strength in Numbers

Sharing a problem with others who have had similar experiences may help you find a solution and will make you feel less isolated.

8. Identify and Deal with Moods

We all need to find safe and constructive ways to express our feelings of anger, sadness, joy and fear. Exercise is the best release, no one gets hurt and you will feel better after words.

Chris Sine
Fitness Trainer
E: Chris@NoBSFitnessforLife.com
W: www.NoBSFitnessforLife.com

Some of the Most Common Single Parent Struggles

While most of us know how difficult and trying it can be as parents; think of working through all of our stuff without someone, partner, to support us through all of it. Single parenting just tends to be a little more trying and difficult than being part of a 2 parent family. Not only do you have to play the roles of both parents, but you’re financially responsible for a set of bills that are usually paid by two incomes.

Here are some of the most common single parent struggles with tips and strategies on how to overcome them.

Illness: When illness strikes in the single parent household, this time can be very trying. Sometimes even more so if it’s the parent who is ill. As a single parent, there is nobody to fall back on so you are able to recuperate. The need to be available to your child or children at all times is ever so present, depending on the age of the family members. A parent struggling with poor health will still feel the need to get on with household matters depending on the age of the children. This down time will also affect the financial income for some time may be taken off.
When the children are sick, it may require the parent to take time off work to care for them, bringing further financial hardship. There is never any reprieve from a sick child and their need to be comforted.

Money challenges: Going from a double income to little or no income can become the most overwhelming issue to overcome. Being responsible for your own monthly payments becomes a big deal indeed. If you find yourself in a dilemma where there never seems to be sufficient funds to make your payments, think of simplifying or even downsizing. Rid yourself of any extra expenses that you may have incurred while you were bringing in two incomes and make life as simple and easy as possible.
Some ideas on how to be more frugal:
Clip coupons
Shop the sales at your local grocery store
Review all of your bills and consolidate services if possible
Shopping Goodwill stores for your household needs
Buy less expensive computers for children

Selecting Safe and Affordable Child Care: Many single parents are at the mercy of the childcare available in their area. We all want the best in childcare and look for but that for our children. Sometimes the best comes with a with a condition; a higher cost. Private daycares are available along with the different childcare centers. Shop and compare charges and services that they have to offer. Ask each one for references and check to see if there are any financial assistance opportunities available like reduced price lunches.

Discussing Life Matters and Gender Issues: Talking to your child about the facts of life may be a little uncomfortable. Especially when our children are the opposite sex and they have a tendency to feel uncomfortable about this life’s subject. A mom may have a hard time teaching her sons about the things a dad would normally cover and a single father may have difficulties talking about female issues with his daughters. If there is an uncomfortable situation that presents itself in this manner, you should enlist the help of a favorite aunt or uncle or a close family friend to act as a “surrogate parent” for your child. It may be easier for your child to open up to this other significant adult and facilitate this whole process and lessen the pressure and tension that may arise.

The World’s Pressure on You: When there’s only one parent in the household, all of the family responsibilities lay on that person’s shoulders. House Chores, cooking, cleaning, yard word, financial concerns and monitoring, being a chauffeur, and every day tasks of being a parent this makes it that there is not much time for you. It’s easy to see that every single parent needs a break every so often. Make sure you take a break to revive yourself and re-energize. Look for a local teenager who could use some extra money, even if it’s just for a few hours. Maybe even drop them off at a family member for a few hours, giving you the option to do what you want not what you need to do.

The Feeling of Being Alone and Lost: Being a single parent have a difficult time relating to people who do not have children and find themselves isolated at one time or another. They find it difficult to associate with singles who cannot comprehend the responsibility that being a single parent brings. If you find yourself feeling a bit lonely and you want to communicate with people who can relate to what you’re going through, look into joining a nearby support group for single parents. Besides just chatting with other adults and exchanging thoughts and ideas, you may meet a new friend and enlarge your social circle.
After the separation occurs, the parents much be aware that there are emotional turmoils that are transpiring within our children. Often these children often blame themselves for the parent leaving. As they are children, they cannot process the situation without emotion.

Schooling: Taking care of the children’s needs at school is another challenge for the single parent, having to be available for school visits, being home in time after school and dealing with any concerns arising for their children during school hours.

Dating and the Introduction: The timing for introduction will vary for each individual. It’s a situation where you need to be aware of the surrounding and how many people you are dating. Introducing your children to each individual that you have dinner with may not be the most appropriate. While it’s never good to hide a growing relationship from your child, watch that they don’t become emotionally involved with someone you’re dating unless you really think the relationship is going somewhere. This may be an appropriate time to plan an outing and see how they “get along” and possibly move the relationship to a deeper level. Remember, your children will be sensitive to anyone who “tries to take their parent away” from them. There will be some explanation as these relationships progress and move forward. Be aware of the feelings and emotions that become involved as time progresses. Sometimes it happens, but try to minimize the revolving door.

If a child has one stable adult in their lives , they will be thrive. It is your responsibility to be THAT person.

Nicole Gruendl
Life and Success Coach
Nicole@NicoleGruendl.com

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