Building up Your Self-Esteem

How many times has the subject of self esteem been a topic of conversation? From childhood, throughout school, at work, with your friends and family.  Your
self- esteem comes into play in every aspect of your life.
A simple definition for the word “self-esteem” is that it’s “How we feel about ourselves.”
Though Some people have mistakenly called this outlook on life egotistical or arrogant. But self-esteem includes broader and more important parts of ourselves. It is directly related to all day to day events and your life’s success.  By changing your though process,  positive thinking instead of negative thought patterns, and accentuating this with powerful actions, this could lead to a stronger and more powerful life.

Many would argue that “You are what you think”.  But really, if you think negatively is this not how you come to feel? Those with high self esteem and a positive self image are able to realize their potential and live their dreams out in a way that they never could have before. High self-esteem is created within a wonderful feeling of inner-balance, self-acceptance and a healthy, comforting self-respect.

By learning how to trust in your beliefs and behaviors, “your gut feeling”, you can bring inner peace to your life and the ability to not absorb all the judgments and negativity that revolve around us on a daily basis.  It’s also about getting to understand how this knowledge fits together and how it relates to us, personally, so we can use it in a way that helps us, because it takes into account all the facts about the particular situation we find ourself in. Many people, when they suffer from self-esteem have a misguided belief that they do not deserve to be successful or happy in life. This kind of disbelief is not only unhealthy, but it can throw your mind into chaos and keep you from ever achieving any sense of peace.

Taking care of our self-esteem requires some effort and courage, but it’s well worth it.
Here are a few ways to develop and strengthen your self-esteem:

• Clearing exercise: List all of the negative beliefs that you have about yourself. Declare if they are facts or interpretations, then take a powerful stand and dispose of the list. You can practice this on a daily basis to begin your day with this exercise to begin you day from a powerful place.
• Write a list of what you are grateful for at the beginning of every day.
• List at least 10 of your positive attributes and talents.
• Make a list of things that make you smile and that you love to do.
• List 5 things that you would love to attempt that would take you out of your comfort zone
• Clear out the clutter. The “stuff” that you have acquired and words, things that were   said that have a negative association attached to it from anyone that you have had any association with.
• Eat well and exercise on a regular basis.  Stay away from unhealthy and “feeling bad” food.
• Take time to do things that you enjoy.
• Dress in clothes that make you feel good about yourself.
• Do something nice for someone on a regular basis.  The Pay It Forward theory.
• Acting on these these strategies will make it easier to get through the tough times. Whenever you feel low or down, go back and read these strategies, take a deep breath a say “I am worth it.”  Remember, this too shall pass.  But if none of these strategies work over time, other factors may be at play that are beyond the scope of this article.

We have the ability to make the choice to keep us from negative stress and burnout.
If you really love yourself, you will be truly able to love other people. You are in the driver’s seat!

Ten Truth Skills by Dr. Susan Campbell

1.    EXPERIENCING WHAT IS.  Notice and feel what is actually going on in the present moment—in your body, your mind and your environment.  Distinguish between what you actually experience from what your mind thinks, judges, expects or believes should be happening. Helps you communicate more accurately and honestly.  Will keep you connected to energy of being alive, training you not to depend so much on external results, e.g. what others think of you, for your sense of well-being.
2.    BEING TRANSPARENT.  Self-disclosure; less apt to get caught up in illusion of control.  Motive=self-expression, not trying to change others. Less likely to trigger defensive reaction in them.  Going public helps you see yourself more honestly.
3.    NOTICING YOUR INTENT. Communicating with the intent to control the outcome is ego-mind’s effort to protect you.  Allow yourself to be open to possibilities of each moment—spontaneous and unrehearsed.  Relate more and control less.
4.    WELCOMING FEEDBACK.  Another way to be present to what is.  Be actively curious about how others are affected by your actions.  “How are you with what I just said?” Keeps two way flow going, essential to relating. Allows you to learn from experience.  See whether your behavior serves your needs, aims and values.
5.    ASSERTING WHAT YOU WANT AND DON’T WANT. Affirms your right to want what you want—even if little chance of getting it. Helps you become less attached to getting everything you ask for since each request won’t carry such a heavy load. Asking freely, instead of inhibiting, keeps your energy flowing.  Saying yes to yourself, no matter how another responds.  Also assert what you don’t want or won’t do.  For authentic relationship, must be space for people to experience full range of feelings and be okay.
6.    TAKING BACK PROJECTIONS.  Becoming aware of projections supports you in seasoning your judgments with some humility.  Helps you remember others’ judgments are as much or more about them as about you.  Awareness can show you where your life energy is blocked or stuck in a pattern to get it flowing again.
7.    REVISING AN EARLIER STATEMENT.  “Going out and coming in again,” helps you deal with changing your mind, clearing up a misunderstanding, or making up after an argument.  Gives you a way to forgive or seek forgiveness and begin again.
8.    HOLDING DIFFERENCES.  Have your own viewpoint while being open to differing views. Helps you see relationships between things that may appear separate or mutually exclusive (Either/or context). Allows mutual benefit in your relationships.
9.    SHARING MIXED EMOTIONS.  Teaches you to let go of your ideas and the  shoulds about being consistent so that you can experience whatever shows up in your awareness.
10.    EMBRACING THE SILENCE. Let go of need to know how things will turn out. Place attention on what is happening now. Silence is your connection to the Source, the place from which new creation springs.

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