8 Ways to Change Your Negative Ways of Thinking

Sometimes life just happens. Everyone around you is saying when the going gets tough, the tough get going. Just forget it all happened. Yeah right. Pretty hard to do when things are going sideways. However, you can change your state of mind rather than dwelling on the negative aspects of it all. This is far from the rah rah articles that you read all the time, the “just think this way and your life will flourish.” This is REAL! It’s about changing your whole thought process.

Anything familiar in here?

1.‘My life sucks’ Way of Thinking – You are not happy with anything in your life. Everyone and everything that you associate with is bad. All the people have an agenda and it’s not positive. All is wrong in the world

2.‘Jumping to the wrong conclusions’ Way of Thinking– You jump ahead and making decisions without any substantial evidence. This is such a negative and destructive pattern that can effect you in all aspects of your life. Reality is so clouded that you create your own visions of events without thinking sensibly. You tend to make a lot of conclusions without any evidence to back up your conclusions.

3.‘Poor me syndrome’ Way of Thinking – Nothing good and worth while will ever happen to you. You’re not worthy. This is such a self destructive thought process and is stemming from a serious lack of self esteem.

4.‘Everyones’ negative thoughts ’ Way of Thinking – You think everyone around you is thinking negative thoughts about you and how you are. This leads to your own self depleting thought process and everything around you is bad.

5.‘I should have, could have but didn’t’ – Way of Thinking – You know exactly what it takes to succeed and move forward to change your life. You have all the tools and are quite capable. The only thing you are missing is the action to move things in the right direction. Stuck in the IF ONLY syndrome.

6.‘Losing control of your Emotions’ Way of Thinking – Everything you are thinking and doing is based on your emotions and the inability to focus on what is real. This links to your lack of self esteem and you not being worthy of success.

7.‘It’s all my fault’ Way of Thinking – You blame yourself for everything bad that is happening around you and your friends and family. You are the cause for every negative event that transpired in your life. Everything is your fault.

8.‘Nobody else is as capable as I am’ Way of Thinking – Nobody can do anything as you. You feel that everyone around you is incompetent and that you just do everything yourself so you don’t need to rely on anybody else.

I just revealed to you some of the most common ways of thinking that we all go through in our lives. I was very fond of the drama and the emotions way of thinking. In fact, I was a master of it. Then the poor me would kick in and we would all have a big party together! Wow what a productive and fun life that was! But I made a decision to change all that. I chose to become a coach and that action alone began my life changing process. Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from perfect but I am real and I am human. I am learning and growing all the time. I made the decision to make those changes and change my “state” once and for all. I love my life and I want you to be have the ability to change that thought process as well, once and for all.
This is how I did it!

Admitting there is a need for change – It’s called denial! I don’t have a problem, I don’t need to change. If you like the way you are and do not feel the need to change, then don’t. If you want this change then you have to see how you perceive your life. We are all different and everyone’s life and circumstances are different. This all comes down to how we think in our daily life. If you think that things are outstanding then they will be outstanding and you will manifest things as such.

How you use these destructive ways of thinking – We make the decision to think positively from a powerful place. Using different thought processes and patterns depending on the circumstances and events that occur. Recognizing when you use our negative thinking process supports you in changing the thought patterns and changing your state.

Changing your “state” – Your state is where you are in your thought process, your state of mind. How to change it is an exercise, that with practice will come you to you naturally. You can choose to do it slowly or use this thought process to speed up the results.

Get sad…and as soon as you get sad, get sadder, and sadder and then even more sad…almost weeping. The think of something that instantly makes you feel happy. Now repeat this process with quicker changes…make sense? Practice this exercise on an ongoing basis and when you start to think of anything that is less than happy, you know how to instantly change your state.

It’s all in the action and the desire to change, nothing else. If there is the want to then there is a way to. Always is!
The new Ways of Thinking
Now that you have been able to recognize some of the destructive thinking patterns that you have acquired throughout your life, you also have the a few ideas on how to change those patterns.
It’s a choice…you either want to be happy and live a fulfilling and joyful life or you don’t. It really is that simple.
In a short period of time you will notice on how you react to events and people in your life, and how they react to you.

Remember, do onto others….

You will also attract like minded people. Do this little test and see how it works out for you.
Smile at several different people throughout your day, say good morning or just say HI and see what reaction you get. Then do the opposite, be grumpy and ignorant and see what happens. Bet you like the first reactions more.

Just don’t think about wanting to be happy, make a powerful decision to change today.

Nicole Gruendl
Life Success Coach
E: Nicole@NicoleGruendl.com
W: www.NicoleGruendl.com

Some of the Most Common Single Parent Struggles

While most of us know how difficult and trying it can be as parents; think of working through all of our stuff without someone, partner, to support us through all of it. Single parenting just tends to be a little more trying and difficult than being part of a 2 parent family. Not only do you have to play the roles of both parents, but you’re financially responsible for a set of bills that are usually paid by two incomes.

Here are some of the most common single parent struggles with tips and strategies on how to overcome them.

Illness: When illness strikes in the single parent household, this time can be very trying. Sometimes even more so if it’s the parent who is ill. As a single parent, there is nobody to fall back on so you are able to recuperate. The need to be available to your child or children at all times is ever so present, depending on the age of the family members. A parent struggling with poor health will still feel the need to get on with household matters depending on the age of the children. This down time will also affect the financial income for some time may be taken off.
When the children are sick, it may require the parent to take time off work to care for them, bringing further financial hardship. There is never any reprieve from a sick child and their need to be comforted.

Money challenges: Going from a double income to little or no income can become the most overwhelming issue to overcome. Being responsible for your own monthly payments becomes a big deal indeed. If you find yourself in a dilemma where there never seems to be sufficient funds to make your payments, think of simplifying or even downsizing. Rid yourself of any extra expenses that you may have incurred while you were bringing in two incomes and make life as simple and easy as possible.
Some ideas on how to be more frugal:
Clip coupons
Shop the sales at your local grocery store
Review all of your bills and consolidate services if possible
Shopping Goodwill stores for your household needs
Buy less expensive computers for children

Selecting Safe and Affordable Child Care: Many single parents are at the mercy of the childcare available in their area. We all want the best in childcare and look for but that for our children. Sometimes the best comes with a with a condition; a higher cost. Private daycares are available along with the different childcare centers. Shop and compare charges and services that they have to offer. Ask each one for references and check to see if there are any financial assistance opportunities available like reduced price lunches.

Discussing Life Matters and Gender Issues: Talking to your child about the facts of life may be a little uncomfortable. Especially when our children are the opposite sex and they have a tendency to feel uncomfortable about this life’s subject. A mom may have a hard time teaching her sons about the things a dad would normally cover and a single father may have difficulties talking about female issues with his daughters. If there is an uncomfortable situation that presents itself in this manner, you should enlist the help of a favorite aunt or uncle or a close family friend to act as a “surrogate parent” for your child. It may be easier for your child to open up to this other significant adult and facilitate this whole process and lessen the pressure and tension that may arise.

The World’s Pressure on You: When there’s only one parent in the household, all of the family responsibilities lay on that person’s shoulders. House Chores, cooking, cleaning, yard word, financial concerns and monitoring, being a chauffeur, and every day tasks of being a parent this makes it that there is not much time for you. It’s easy to see that every single parent needs a break every so often. Make sure you take a break to revive yourself and re-energize. Look for a local teenager who could use some extra money, even if it’s just for a few hours. Maybe even drop them off at a family member for a few hours, giving you the option to do what you want not what you need to do.

The Feeling of Being Alone and Lost: Being a single parent have a difficult time relating to people who do not have children and find themselves isolated at one time or another. They find it difficult to associate with singles who cannot comprehend the responsibility that being a single parent brings. If you find yourself feeling a bit lonely and you want to communicate with people who can relate to what you’re going through, look into joining a nearby support group for single parents. Besides just chatting with other adults and exchanging thoughts and ideas, you may meet a new friend and enlarge your social circle.
After the separation occurs, the parents much be aware that there are emotional turmoils that are transpiring within our children. Often these children often blame themselves for the parent leaving. As they are children, they cannot process the situation without emotion.

Schooling: Taking care of the children’s needs at school is another challenge for the single parent, having to be available for school visits, being home in time after school and dealing with any concerns arising for their children during school hours.

Dating and the Introduction: The timing for introduction will vary for each individual. It’s a situation where you need to be aware of the surrounding and how many people you are dating. Introducing your children to each individual that you have dinner with may not be the most appropriate. While it’s never good to hide a growing relationship from your child, watch that they don’t become emotionally involved with someone you’re dating unless you really think the relationship is going somewhere. This may be an appropriate time to plan an outing and see how they “get along” and possibly move the relationship to a deeper level. Remember, your children will be sensitive to anyone who “tries to take their parent away” from them. There will be some explanation as these relationships progress and move forward. Be aware of the feelings and emotions that become involved as time progresses. Sometimes it happens, but try to minimize the revolving door.

If a child has one stable adult in their lives , they will be thrive. It is your responsibility to be THAT person.

Nicole Gruendl
Life and Success Coach
Nicole@NicoleGruendl.com

15 Tips for a Positive Attitude

Have you ever noticed how you feel when you are around positive and happy people?  How easy is it for you to maintain an angry or frustrated state when someone is laughing and smiling all the time?  No matter how bad the circumstances or how frustrated things may seem, they never let things get them down.   But let’s be honest, it can be a little trying at times to keep the smile on our face when things get a little tough.  This is why I put together this short but effective list on how you can alter your “state” by just doing a few simple exercises!

• Take a 30 minute walk every day and smile while you walk.
• Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
• When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement:
  ‘My purpose is to____ today.’

• Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer.
• Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less processed food. Drink green tea and plenty of water
• Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk to make room for the new flow of energy. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
• Invest your energy in the positives in life.  Don’t waste it on negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
• Say out loud “Life is good!”
• Life is too short to waste time being angry and hating anyone.
• Don’t compare yourself to others’. They have their own journey to pursue.
• Burn the new candles, use the nice bed sheets. Today is THAT special occasion.
• No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
• Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy
• Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements:

“I am thankful for ___.’ Today I accomplished ____.

And REMEMBER

• Never, EVER forget to DANCE!

Nicole Gruendl
Life and Success Coach
Nicole@NicoleGruendl.com

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